Solitude. #25

Let’s make it crystal that there is a huge difference between voluntary solitude and loneliness. Solitude is the state of being together with oneself; by yourself. Where as loneliness is the state of being away in a sense of stricken connection with others. One is a symptom and or start of a depressive time and another a positive enlightening process. 

I have always been an advocate for solitude, though I caught myself drifting towards the loneliness side of it. We all are in connection all the time, social media connects, internet is a worldwide connection of ever roaming thoughts and ideas. But I feel in this era of apparent useful connection of people to this ginormous degree, we have lost ourselves. People feel ever so distant from their family and friends, those fishing trips and hikes with buddies have turned into a mountain photoshoot. And as it is a topic that could be related to a huge degree with loneliness, we have forgot the idea of solitude. 

Solitude isn’t just the state of being alone, its actually quite scary; you’ll be alone with your own thoughts. And believe me when I tell you that you can be scary to yourself. When people try to enter solitude. They forget the reason for it. It isn’t to gain magical powers of that in an instant you’ll be the “best you could be” kind of thing. Its long, its tiring, its scary. When that metal object in your pocket is away from you and you are in an unknown place with unfamiliar faces perhaps staring at you, that’s when you’ll truly know yourself. Now here’s the thing I find utterly ludicrous; people think that solitude and finding themselves; their inner selves is how they will know themselves. I know this sounds repetitive, but look at this; their presupposition is that their real self is good. Are you sure that your month long decluttering will manifest an angel to you? No! You never know. The proper idea of solitude is to not accept who you are, but to know who you are and make it better. I say “it” because it will feel different, you might cry realising how cruel you’ve been to yourself or to others, how you could’ve changed your life five years ago, all the suppressed guilt, regret, sadness, everything will be open to be attacked by your now-self to make it go away because it just might be that dreadful. Its only when you’ve cleared yourself of the fog and the translucency of what you are that you might connect with the people that are important to you, the best. Its only when you have left being an imposter and are real that the real ones around you will come in your life, things will declutter for you… 

All this might seem like a statement for not being in a state of solitude, but it isn’t. But why would anyone want to be in such a state? Why this gnarly being would you look at? Well its a simple answer… you wanna be the human you desire to be? That’s what you gotta do, you’ll never that human unless you change your inner-self, its on you my friend, its your choice. Go and slay the dragon. 

“I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.” – Henry David Thoreau


Who hates? #24

Hates means to dislike someone or something intensely and that emphasis isn’t gratuitous. We are all relatively an amalgam of constant variation of emotions as we move forward in life. We hate going to school when we are kids and as we learn the consequences of not attending one and or the benefits of acing one, we drive towards it, especially overtime, if you’ve grown well. But still I see the hundreds of trolls lurking in their bed-sheets with Cheetos dust swamping their phone screens and they grin before even posting their comments. Its interesting how the term “troll” has grown out from folklore ugly giants or dwarfs to a person posting offensive things online. The theme remains…

I wondered why we hate, was it innate or constructed, required or should be eradicated, these troubled me. It is innate though, we hate snakes and spiders instinctively or perhaps, fear them and many other things. I won’t go into the psychology behind hate but rather keep things in context to online trolling. 

I actually caught myself commenting hatefully at a photography account on Instagram, the person had edited the photo a bit much but I just couldn’t hold in the urge to point it out in public and make a joke out of it. I wrote the comment and with the first reply I got, my heart started beating faster for some reason. I knew I was about to get destroyed, all I saw was a creeping laughing face emoji after some dots (“…”). I didn’t dare to even read the reply and quickly deleted the comment. Well, that was a scare, nobody wants to get destroyed online. I put my phone away and paused, I actually seldom comment, and a hateful one is something I never thought I would do. I suddenly recalled a video from Gary Vaynerchuk, in which he stated that he had empathy for the people who write hateful comments. He added, “Why would someone read what you wrote, analyze a pick things out, and then think and write burning mental energy just to give out hate?” I wondered on it and it occurred to me; its when we aren’t happy we hate seeing people happy, its when you screwed up on tests that you envy the topper, its when you can’t edit photos when you bash a photographer for it. I reflected on my day and everything was in “order”. I had put off the alarm in the morning and overslept, was an hour late for class, got scolded for it and then laughed at by the entire class when I mispronounced “fratricide” for “farticide”! I had forgot the notes the teacher had asked of me the day before, so all in all, nothing was going well for me. All that negativity I stuck at an Instagram account. 

And I think really that’s why you find people who support everyone being calm and the ones criticizing everything in chaos. Now obviously constructive criticism is required by everyone and if someone can’t that, that’s their problem. Let me know what you think about this blog, if you may. But also, how you give the criticism matters, I always either DM, email or talk in private about the matter. So what comes out all this? I’d actually want you to think about a time when you had a great urge to talk sh*t about someone, troll online, or point out things that would make someone embarrassed in public. How were you that day, how was your daily routine, the breakfast, the talk with your family, the boss’s call, look what might have caused it. When you find yourself in that aura, its actually a harbinger at what it going wrong with you and you can immediately fix it and be better. And yeah, have empathy for those who hate. Peace.

“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” – Martin Luther King Jr. 


What you can do if you are a nobody. #22

Attention is something we as humans absolutely love, now degree matters, but, having attention also increases the chances of feeling loved and admired. We all know someone in our relationships who has accomplished more than anyone and when enters a room all eyes shift towards him/her and that’s, well, in general sense, ‘somebody’. Unless you were born in a royal family and the society still cares about the family, you started where everyone starts and will start, being a no one.

You have to define what you mean by a ‘somebody’ or a ‘nobody’ first, its the paramount you just can’t ignore. If you do, get ready to be thrown into an abyss of self-doubt and an unsatisfactory life, and that just sucks. Is it the man or woman who is greeted by everyone at the office? Is it the neighbor who is invited every now and then from different homes for dinner? Is it the class topper? Who is it? There has to be someone that you have looked up to and made that idea of a ‘somebody’. Pause for a moment and warp yourself back to the time when you said to yourself, “I wanna be him/her.” Is it respect? Attention? Certificate from a top university? Promotion at your job? Or a Nobel? You have to make it crystal. Abstract concepts are to be devised when they have become an epitome of your idea of an archetype. Its incredibly important, you’ll be wading around in circles your entire life, unless and until you figure out what’s the standard for you. You can’t even say you are a nobody unless you define the ideal. The second to president might think he is a nobody as his ideal, generally speaking, would be the president, whilst he definitely is a ‘somebody’ to us. 

Now that you have defined an ideal for yourself, you now know where you stand. Now what’s to be done is what the ideal did, work. The cliched and boring truth of life, for almost anything. But let’s be real, let’s devise a practical way. 

First thing to realize is that the concepts of being the better person is generally relative to one’s own thoughts and beliefs. I can’t emphasize enough on the fact that you have to leave the idea of climbing the mountain, when you can’t even walk up the stairs. Honestly this is related to the idea of being an “influencer”, we all want to have a million followers “So that we can help them”, but yeah, who gives a damn about the beggar on our streets, lets help the person a hundred miles away from us, first. I’m not saying not to help the person miles away, but the guy in your streets has to have a first priority. And the same will go for the ‘nobody’ near the person, you were trying to help, a hundred miles away. It’s not as if you have no power to do anything at all and as I’ve stated the idea of being a ‘nobody’ (I’m tired of even using the word by this point) is relative. So stop whining, I even wrote a whole blog explaining how you have an enormous amount of effect, that you ignore, you may read it here if you want. Stop thinking stuff that make you weak and impulsive, you have what it takes, but it’ll be hard. Go get it.

“No one can construct for you the bridge upon which precisely you must cross the stream of life, no one but you yourself alone.” – Friedrich Nietzsche.

Businesswoman changing reality of drought to spring season

A simple way to change the world. #17

This is the simplest and the most effective way you, yeah you, just you, can change the world. The title says simple, but that’s in relative to all the other options. Okay, first we have to figure out what to change so that everything falls into place. Is is the roads? Tress? Rivers? Sewers perhaps? To be real its the people. Its all them, the bad souls that exist in the world. The corrupt politicians, the burglars, the rapists, that neighbor of yours and all the others we want to see change, we aren’t bad people, so, we just want bad people to change rather than annihilate them. Change is required, absolutely. Its stated and known. 

Isn’t the above paragraph a relief? I think it is, just if we had a snap like of Thanos, we could just wipe out the bad and degraded souls and then would be the utopia we all desired, full of peace and serenity and most importantly, you. Well there is no snap. So what do we do? Don’t worry, I won’t and am not ranting here, I’ll give you the solution, a practical one. 

Most of us follow a personality, a person we admire, so much so that we wan’t to become them. I do too, but what is it in them that’s so fascinating? Why do we want to be like them and have an “impact” like them, be a philanthropist an educator and so on. Why is that? I see so many adults whining around, trying to have an “impact on people.” I don’t have a problem with them trying to make people’s lives better, have the “impact” and whatever, the problem is the way we, with seemingly no “impact” feel about the things. “Oh, I’m just a spec of dust in 7 billion.” Its a fair argument to why your actions don’t matter. If you seize to exist not much will happen. Are you sure? Actually I used to think the same, the same as anyone wishing to change the world would think about the matter. But I encountered an epiphany while watching a video, that changed how I wanted to change or have the impact I wished of, onto the world.

In your lifetime, you’ll meet a thousand people, maybe more but not less and we know how a single human’s behavior can effect us, its undeniable. Lets do the math:

1000 (the people you’ll personally meet) x

1000 (every person that you’ve had an impact on, has his/her own 1000) = 


That’s a lot actually. So your actions, thoughts, behavior and presence has an impact of a million combined and its up to you, how you want those million to exist in the world. Yeah not all care, but lets say just 100,000 people see the effect and just half act on it. That’s a whole locality in an urban area. So yeah, you aren’t just a spec of dust in 7 billion, you have an impact by the way you greet, talk, walk, behave, and think. Those people you admire know this, they didn’t complain that they don’t have the power when they were just like you and me, they worked and realized that they will see the impact, only when they’ve changed for the better. So use this power, be conscious of it and if you really want to change the world start with the million you have. That’s exactly the mindset you need, to change the world and yeah as you might have figured by now, starting with you. Imagine if just 10 people, including you, could be your spouse, gf/bf, father, mother, brother, sister etc. just your family changed, the world will be a better place. But in the opposite path, as we have always known, one rotten apple, spoils the barrel.

Every person matters.

“Change starts with you, but it doesn’t start until you do.” – Tom Ziglar